The most beautiful acreage in the subdivision is owned by The Tanned One --
Urban Meyer, his lovely wife Shelley, and their children. The family has
several gorgeous moss draped Grandaddy Oaks, Sabal Palms, and flowers
throughout the yard of their Key West style home. The Meyers are one of
the most active families in the neighborhood. They're always going places
together, something rarely seen in these days. On Saturday they tripped to
the beach. On Sunday, they attended church. The Meyers moved in last
January and were seen trading their snow shovels for sand shovels. They are
the modern day version of The Nelsons (Ozzie and Harriet) and are the
envy of the neighborhood, but you'll never hear it spoken aloud.
Living in the home on the hill is the Fulmer family. Mr. Fulmer is a
successful man who works with troubled youths. The neighbors complain
because his yard is always in need of a fresh cutting. Yard work is
something that seemingly escapes him. He sweats too much. Some of the kids
from Alabama Avenue in the subdivision across the highway have inserted
the word "Fill" on his mailbox in place of his first name. As you
have probably surmised, "Fill" has a weight problem. Those same kids hurl
catcalls toward the house every October, "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie
Brown" in response to the oversized Orange shirt he usually wears. Fill
has had enough of the kids from Alabama Avenue. He has reported them to
the cops. He has personally spoken to the special unit which investigates
such activity, the Neighborhood Criminal Accusations for (innocence) and
Alibis, NCAA for short. Fill has come to their neighborhood in an attempt
to exact a little revenge.
Mr. Steve Spurrier and his family live across the street from the Meyer
family. He once owned the lot the Meyers now occupy. Mr. Spurrier ended
up using it as a driving range, though. He has a nice home that is in the
process of undergoing a total redesign. Many of the neighbors debate
whether he is a tremendous businessman who enjoys playing golf, or
vise-versa. Rumor abound that he made a bundle in Washington. It was
politics without all of that government red tape. He too has made fun of
Mr. Fulmer. Mr. Spurrier once told Fill that he couldn't spell the word
citrus or something like that. Mr. Spurrier has been gripping his three
wood a lot tighter these days, as many of the young people he counted on
stole pictures and other items from his house and subsequently found
trouble with the law.
The big Red and Black house is owned by the Richt family. They have the
disgusting dog that droools all over everything. It is the fourth dog
they've owned. Mr. Spurrier ran the other three over a few years ago. He
drives too fast, but is not a bad driver. Speculation is that he did it on
purpose. Mr. Richt has also spent time working with troubled youths. He
has even visited them in jail. He worked for many years with the elderly
on Seminole Lane. He received much of his training there, espcially
working with those troubled youths.
The Johnsons live in the gold house with black trim. Mr. Johnson usually
drives an old Pinto. Every once in awhile, he takes out the Buick out of
the garage. They are a relatively quiet family. You rarely ever hear or
see Bobby, except when he's going to work.
Every neighborhood has a house that always seems to have a new occupant.
In our neighborhood, that would be the big blue house. I think the owner's
name is Rich Brooks. He and his family moved here not too long ago from
out west. They're the aloof family who never really seem all that eager to
interact with the other neighbors. Many of the neighbors seem to think
that he'll move on the next two years. Sometimes a man named Tubby will
drop by and give him home repair tips.
The subdivision holds a fall festival competition each fall. Mr. Fill
Fulmer and his family won the competition last year. The Meyers and
Spurriers hope to add new life into the fall event. The Meyer family is
highly competitive, but must prove themselves (says The Great Pumpkin). In
the past, Mr. Spurrier has treated the Fulmers and Richts like Tiger
Woods in a playoff against the amateur champion of Brooker. Nobody really
seems concerned with the Johnsons and the Brooks. Although Johnson does
have a guy named Cutler who is supposedly a ringer.
As they say, there goes the neighborhood.